Monday, May 24, 2010

Law & Order

I think I've hinted at my obsession with Law & Order on this blog from time to time. And my housemate can attest, that I can be entertained for days with a good Law & Order marathon. I go back and forth between regular Law & Order and Law & Order SVU as my favorite. And Law & Order Criminal Intent will only keep me entertained if it's my only option. I can't really explain why I love this show so much, but I do. And lucky for me USA and TNT generally have Law & Order on all the time. The funny thing is that when I watch an episode I don't realize that I've seen it until there's about 10 or 15 minutes left, and then I put all the pieces together and remember the trial twist and the outcome. But I don't care.
A couple of weeks ago, Rykert sent me an email at work. The subject line read: "I hope you are sitting down." And inside was a link to a NY Times article breaking the news that Law & Order would not be returning to NBC. I was sad. I mean, because eventually the hundreds of reruns that are out there, are going to get old without some new content being thrown into the mix. Anyway, tonight is the finale.

In honor of the finale, I give you the first draft of our Law & Order drinking game. Mind you, we don't really drink (and I haven't played a drinking game like this since college), but when Rykert and I watch Law & Order we always remark at the predictable dramatic conventions and cliches and started devising this game. Take a drink every time you see the following (or more if indicated).
  • Every time you see the black screen with date and location.
  • If you hear the ubiquitous Law & Order "doink doink".
  • Suspects have connections to or reference is made to the "Russians," the mob, or a gang.
  • On Special Victims Unit (SVU), Munch makes reference to some sort of government conspiracy.
  • On SVU, Tutolo says he's "dug up" pertinent background information on a suspect (or victim).
  • On SVU, Eliot exhibits his anger issues (i.e. use of excessive force).
  • On SVU, Olivia talks softly to a victim. Take two drinks if it's a child.
  • Captain Cragen or Leutenant Van Buren yells at detectives.
  • Detectives pursue a suspect on foot in a chase.
  • A victim or suspect is attending Hudson University.
  • Detectives read Miranda warnings.
  • A District Attorney (or detective) says "Cut 'em loose" telling the detectives to release a suspect from custody.
  • Reference to "the brass" or IAB reprimanding a detective or taking issue with the detectives' work.
  • Medical Examiner uncovers evidence that contradicts the detectives original theory of the crime.
  • Medical Examiner declares that someone "bled out."
  • The prosecution, at bail hearing, asks for remand.
  • Defendant is actually remanded (after the defense attorney makes claims to defendant's extensive ties to the community).
  • A psych hearing is ordered.
  • JK Simmons or BD Wong make obvious statements about a defendant's mental state, but ultimately proclaim that he "knew right from wrong" and should be held accountable.
  • The prosecution is served with a Motion to Dismiss.
  • The prosecution is served with a Motion to Suppress.
  • Suppression hearing (or other motion hearing) references a "house of cards" or an "end-run."
  • The prosecution loses in a suppression hearing and key evidence is thrown out. (But chin up, Jack McCoy will prevail!)
  • Arthur Branch instructs Jack McCoy to "Cut a Deal."
  • Arthur Branch makes reference to being a "country lawyer" or to being a "good ol' boy."
  • During the trial, the judge angrily states, "Counselors; Chambers; Now."
  • One of the attorneys makes a clearly inflammatory remark and then halfheartedly says, "Withdrawn."
  • The episode ends with Jack McCoy or other District Attorneys having a drink.
  • Assistant District Attorney is killed or appears to be killed. (Finish your drink, and pour another)
  • Reference is made to a detective or attorney's past (e.g. Olivia as a product of her mother's rape, Cragen's alcoholism, Munch's multiple marriages, Jack McCoy's daughter and exes, etc.)
I could go on and on. Any other Law & Order fans have anything else to suggest?

I just don't understand why NBC would cancel a show that's been on the air for 20 years, to make room for the new crap they have like Chuck, Celebrity Apprentice, and Parenthood. And if you hear sobbing, it will be me mourning the loss of Jack McCoy.

3 comment(s). Tell me what you think!:

Anonymous said...

Celebrity Apprentice....crap? I beg your pardon? Gotta be some kind of game there. Love, mom.

Anonymous said...

As another legally trained person who loves Law & Order (but the classic most of all) - I share your pain.

Annie Jones said...

At some point in every episode, the detectives will be talking to a lead and one of them will get "the call" on their cell phone that either breaks the case or leads them down an entirely different path.

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