Friday, February 11, 2005

Why blog?

This week I rented the movie, Shall We Dance. It was a little bit cheesy. It was sweet. It had Richard Gere. It made me happy. So, of course, I loved it (as I love all cheesy movies). In the movie, Susan Sarandon plays Richard Gere's wife, and in talking
about why we get married, she says the following:

"We need a witness to our lives. There's a billion people on the planet... I mean, what does any one life really mean? But in a marriage, you're promising to care about everything. The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things... all of it, all of the time, every day. You're saying 'Your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it. Your life will not go un-witnessed because I will be your witness'."

I love this quote. It explains, with simplicity, the reasons we choose a partner with which share our lives. The reason we spend a good portion of our lives looking for that person. The reason that we choose to spend our lives with that person. Because it is nice to have someone who cares about what you did today, even if it is mundane.

But in some ways, I think this quote is also applicable to blogging. We blog as if to say 'Look at me. My life is important. I do interesting things, and want to share them with interesting people. I have something to say. I have something to write.' My blog is barely linkworthy, and it clearly lacks the readership of those most popular of knitting blogs. But I keep doing it and writing to an unclear audience, so that maybe one person might bear witness to what is important to me and what I have to say.

My life is shaky and uncertain these days. It's extremely frusturating to have multiple degrees, but no "real" skills. So, I'm left working temp jobs and sending out hundreds of resumes and wondering if I'll make it through each month. Knitting and being a small part of the blogging world keeps me sane. Something irregular showed up in my yearly physical, which has me a bit scared. But, I approach like everything else and keep myself from freaking out until there is actually something to freak out about... And I think about this Gilda Radner quote:
I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next.

- Gilda Radner

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